I caught myself doing something today. I am not sure exactly when it started, but I am sure that it was early on in my life. I realized that I have been doing this for quite some time now but it has never occurred to me like it did this morning. You see, I am taking a certification exam today for Microsoft Vista and I was asking God for His help. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with that right? Here’s where it skips the rails though…see if this sounds familiar in your life. Lord, I need Your help today. This exam is very important for both my career and the certification of the company. I need to lean on You today, rest in Your wisdom, and rely on Your grace.
OK, what was wrong? Did you catch it? If you did…good for you. If you didn’t…join the club. For years I prayed for God to help me with ____ because I needed Him for it. For years I prayed that He would help me because I needed Him today. Then today it hit me…what about yesterday? What about the other exam?
I need God. It isn’t a matter of knowing what the hard things are and making sure you give them to Him. I know that my theological construct was not based on only needing Him for certain things but that it how I prayed. My understanding and my initial reaction to situations were not matching up. If I truly believe that I need Him for everything, then why would I pray that I need Him for this and that specifically? I know that for some this sounds like I am needlessly picking apart the semantics of my prayers…but this is needed isn’t it? Shouldn’t our words more closely match our true beliefs? If they don’t, are they true beliefs? Is it truly the foundation of your life that you need God? Is it truly the foundation of your life that God’s grace is needed every day and for everything that happens in your life?
God, I need You. I need You today just as I did yesterday and just as I will tomorrow. Please help me…and give me my daily rations of grace. The only reason that I am able to even take the exam is but for the grace and mercy that you have given me. Not my will, but Your’s be done.
I can’t say that I am completely surprised it has been this long since my last post. Life has been full of twists and turns in the past two months. More than I have experienced in my life. Things are not dire, I do not intend to dramatize my life in any way, I only seek to blab on my blog. So, without further ado…adooo… without waiting any longer; here is my recent life.
1. In response to the last post; I finished the Shack. Yes it DID have many issues that are inexcusable. The biggest issue of them all however, was the fact that this book is touted as the next Pilgrim’s Progress. It is being called the greatest work of allegory in years. Allegory? Allegory is speaking truth in fictional ways. Allegory is obvious. If this is intended to be allegory then the Theological implications are heretical. And thus, this book should be destroyed. If this is simply a work of fiction, we should treat it for what it is. A book that will be forgotten in 10 years.
2. In mid September I realized how close I was to losing my job. The funding from the motherchurch was scheduled to run out the end of October. I had already started the process of applying for jobs when the reality of what was happening hit me. I needed a job. So, ever since then I have been hitting the virtual pavement. The problem with electronic applications is that many times your resume does not make it through the first filter for random reasons. Also, it takes weeks for everything to get processed in order to even get a return email. Ugh.
3. In late September we started our full bore practices for Gemma’s Cabaret. This was a fund raiser in memory of a little girl who passed away at 6 weeks old in our church. There has been a fund set up to help families of children with the same heart condition that Gemma had. The practices took much of my time between the actual rehearsals and the preparations of all the events of the night. We also sold food to raise money so there was quite a bit to organize. The even went off without a hitch on October 18th and we were all excited to have raised $1300 for the evening. (WIth the amount of people there, that is a large number) I of course caught a cold as I always do under heavy stress and lack of sleep. It WAS however, worth it all.
4. Now I sit here, back in the job hunt with a recent email stating that I did not pass an assessment to sell insurance. AAA has an on line assessment that decides whether you can hack it as an insurance salesman and I apparentlycan’t! So, with the brightest spot on my job radar in recent weeks gone, prayer is heavier than ever. It does seem obvious that it was God however that did the door slamming. I had decided to take the position even though it was 10k less than I needed to live for the first three months. I was going to get a part time job and cover what I needed until I could start getting commission. God apparently didn’t like that decision. Many times it is easy to put things on God when they do not go your way, “Oh it mustn’t have been God’s will!”, however I do have a certain peace that doe snot normally envelop me like this. I KNOW that it was God who shut this door
5. Just thought it looked better with 5. Go Phillies!