So the numbness has crept in. I lie awake in my bed wondering whether this is it. I wake, I shower, I drive, I sit, I drive, I play, I eat, I sleep. Now before you get crazy and send me messages on facebook quoting the Psalms like an incantation and telling me that God is in control, keep in mind that I know that already, just stay with me.

I feel as if there is something just around the corner. Something big is about to explode and change the way I see things. That seems odd considering the past few months that our family has been through. I wonder if that was a physical foreshadowing of a spiritual renewal. I wonder if God has planned something so big in my life that an aneurysm seems tame compared to it. Most of the intensity of the situation has died down. Laurie is doing well, she is still missing part of her skull, but all in all things are going well. Our outlook has changed greatly as we see and live new definitions of the words need and desire. I see the need for quality over quantity. I see the need for living our lives in a way that is constant with our beliefs. This seems rather obvious but it has hit me in areas of life that aren’t preached about in the circles I run in.

Should our view of Scripture affect our clothes, our food, our ‘stuff’? I say yes. I say that God does indeed care about everything we do. Where am I going with this? I honestly don’t know…after lying in bed for an hour wondering why I can’t sleep, I came down to write. This is what came out. Not sure what to make of it but I know that I have been praying that God would grant me wisdom as I continue to try to honor Him with every penny I spend and with every word I speak and with every breath I take…and every move I make…and every claim I sta…sorry.

Something big is going to happen. I hope there’s coffee.




Filed under Current Thoughts, Uncategorized

3 responses to “Numb

  1. I’ve just happened across your blog and so of course I don’t know the full story here, my sense is that what’s happening is one of those very difficult, heart wrenching life changing events that are dreadful to go through…but at least you haven’t lost your sense of humor! (or irony)

    You must be quite an exceptional individual, and YES! I agree…something big IS going to happen!

    It can happen to you, it can happen to me, it can happen to everyone eventually…YES!

    • whatsthemotivation

      Thanks for the note. Yeah you can catch up from the previous posts for the most part but bottom line is my wife had a level 5 aneurysmm on March 13th, 2010. The doctors told e she wouldn’t live the night. Two days later she sat up in bed and asked to see me. God healed her and everyone was a witness to it.

      God has done some amazing things in these past few months. I had the opportunity to preach at my home church and have been able to speak to many people of how the Gospel ministered to me in this intense time of change.

      Glad to meet you.

  2. Tracy

    I can’t wait to watch it play out!

    But for now, just for tonight, I will hate you a little bit because I will be trying to drift off as Police plays in my head over and over and..

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