Wow there is a lot of sin in my life. I am amazed at where my mind goes when I take my eyes of Christ. I believe that God graciously healed my wife. She should have died on March 13th if not for my God saving her. So why is it that I now need to protect her as if I am in charge now? It’s as if I have said to God, “I’ll take it from here.” I can not take care of Laurie. Only God can. Do I understand this?
Two weeks ago I had nothing to cling to but God. Now I still have nothing to cling to but God, however, I am chosing not to. I am clinging to my perceived control over her life. I have heard so many nurses say that Laurie is such a strong woman, that I am starting to believe it. It’s a lie! Laurie is not a strong woman. Laurie is a weak, weak woman in desperate need of her Savior. What condition her physical body is in is irrelevant. The only control that I have over her is given to me directly from God. He alone is in control of all things, ALL things.
Paul does not give us any other option in Galatians 3 when he says O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?…Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? I understand that God has made me a steward of creation in general (Genesis 2:15) and my wife in specific (1 Peter 3:7) but do I honestly think that this is done by working hard? Meganointa! It is not by works but by faith that ANYTHING happens.
It is not that I sit back and wait for God to work His magic, I work in faith to earn money to live on. I serve her in faith to wash her in the water of the Word. I care for her physical needs not because I can control her needs but because in faith God will meet her needs through me. Do we see this shift in thinking? Do we see the inability to do anything on our own? Many people have wondered why I have been so ‘at peace’ through this time of soul training. My answer is simple. Jesus.