Wow there is a lot of sin in my life. I am amazed at where my mind goes when I take my eyes of Christ. I believe that God graciously healed my wife. She should have died on March 13th if not for my God saving her. So why is it that I now need to protect her as if I am in charge now? It’s as if I have said to God, “I’ll take it from here.” I can not take care of Laurie. Only God can. Do I understand this?

Two weeks ago I had nothing to cling to but God. Now I still have nothing to cling to but God, however, I am chosing not to. I am clinging to my perceived control over her life. I have heard so many nurses say that Laurie is such a strong woman, that I am starting to believe it. It’s a lie! Laurie is not a strong woman. Laurie is a weak, weak woman in desperate need of her Savior. What condition her physical body is in is irrelevant. The only control that I have over her is given to me directly from God. He alone is in control of all things, ALL things.

Paul does not give us any other option in Galatians 3 when he says O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?…Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? I understand that God has made me a steward of creation in general (Genesis 2:15) and my wife in specific (1 Peter 3:7) but do I honestly think that this is done by working hard? Meganointa! It is not by works but by faith that ANYTHING happens.

It is not that I sit back and wait for God to work His magic, I work in faith to earn money to live on. I serve her in faith to wash her in the water of the Word. I care for her physical needs not because I can control her needs but because in faith God will meet her needs through me. Do we see this shift in thinking? Do we see the inability to do anything on our own? Many people have wondered why I have been so ‘at peace’ through this time of soul training. My answer is simple. Jesus.




Filed under Current Events, Current Thoughts

3 responses to “Control

  1. Eric Fletcher

    (NIV) 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
    But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. [10] That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
    Continuing to pray for you and your family.

  2. Becky Rouillard

    Philippians 4:13
    I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

    This verse has been the verse that has carried me through some of the most difficult times in my life.
    About 2 years ago there was something that happened in my life that changed my family, for the worse. During those times I turned to God and He is the only One who carried me through those times. As time progressed and I didn’t see what I thought I should see and things didn’t get better I began to feel like my prayers were unanswered and, sadly, I began to feel that I could control my life for myself. It took another year of “living my own life” before I realized that I had messed up my life and now still dealing with the issues that happened and also having to now look at what damage I had done.
    I’ve come to understand that I can’t run my own life and that only God can see clearly where my life is headed and help me to steer in that direction.
    Thank you for sharing that! You, Laurie and the children will continue to be in our prayers daily!!

  3. Awesome and so true. Thanks for saying it.

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